Just now I came to the realization that there are things that I do that are so weird. I never would have thought about these things before, but lately I’ve been self-analyzing my personality & just overall examining myself as a whole. I’ve been wondering how these weird behaviors, habits, & actions became an everyday part of my life, & why do I do these things. Ok, I’m not trying to raise any philosophical or psychological debates. I just want to take a deeper look into my self.
01. Of course, if you’ve read my other blog posts, you’d already know that I can’t go to bed/sleep with my bedroom door open. I just can’t stand it if the door is even slightly ajar. No matter how comfortable I am snuggled in bed, or how sleepy (& sometimes drunk) I am, I will dutifully get out bed to close the door. What started as a privacy issue, turned into a security measure, which evolved further into psychological peace of mind.
02. The same goes for my bedroom closet. I’ve got an old fashioned closet with sliding doors, & I can’t sleep if one of the closet doors is open or left slightly ajar. In fact, I can’t stand it whatsoever if the door(s) are not completely closed at all times of the day. If there is even a sliver of the door open, I feel a great urge to close it. I will go out of my way to make sure the closet doors (as well as all other bedroom furniture & fixtures) are neatly placed exactly the way I like it.
03.I don’t know if this is considered “spacing out“, but I tend to block out things around me whenever I am reading a book on my iPad or listening to music (with headphones) on my music player. I mean, I am totally immersed in whatever action I’m doing, & it takes a big commotion to snap me out of my so-called trance. For example, one time I was waiting for Jian to get his haircut, & I was reading a book on my smartphone. I hadn’t even realized that Jian had been calling my name loudly for over five minutes until he walked over to me & shook my shoulder to get my attention. Even the salon receptionist standing next to me was trying to get my attention, but I was so completely immersed in my little bubble.
04. This also happens a lot when I’m at home. Whether I am cooking, ironing clothes, or doing work on the home computer, but especially when I’m cleaning &/or vacuuming the house, it is easy to spook/scare the living bejeezus out of me. I am so “in my zone” that I can almost completely block out what’s going on around me. When somebody at home walks into the room or calls my name, I get so startled that I scream loudly & nearly jump out of my own skin. Jian says this is a bad thing, especially if a predator is trying to harm me. I could easily get ambushed & attacked. Since he planted that dirty little seed in my mind, I’ve been actively trying to rid myself of that habit.
05. One of my biggest pet peeves is stains on clothes. That’s why I keep a stain remover pen in my purse at all times. I hate having stains on my clothes. Once I get a spot on my clothes, I get an overwhelming urge to take off the soiled piece of clothing & wash it immediately, or at least treat the stain. If I’m out of the house, & can’t run to the public restroom to clean the stain, I will feel panicked & will focus all of my attention on the offending stain. I don’t think I would consider myself a germaphobe, but I when I was growing up, my parents instilled in me (or rather drilled into my brain) that a person should be clean & tidy at all times. You don’t have to wear fashionable or designer clothes, but your clothes must at least be clean & well-ironed. No wrinkles or sloppiness allowed.
Oh geez, I am feeling quite drained of energy after writing this blog post. I’m sitting at my local big box coffee shop, & I’ve long since finished my cup of coffee & pastry. I am now off to stock my refrigerator with more beer & gin. Cheers!
Today’s song of the day:
“Thank God for Girls” by WEEZER