I’ve been working through some personal things lately, most recently being the discovery of adult acne. I’ve always taken good care of my skin, since I was a young child. My grandmother & mom were both very strict on skin care & cleanliness. So, I adopted & followed their astringent & regimented skincare habits. I had never before gone through any pimple or acne stages during my teenage &/or pubescent years. I thought that as long as I took good care of my skin, I would be in the clear (no pun intended). I was wrong, & now I’m dealing with a mild case (knock-on-wood) of adult acne on my chin/jaw-line. This has been giving me some feelings of anxiety, as well as with other things/issues going on in my life. In the back of my mind, I am constantly feeling a sense of mild anxiety.
This feeling of anxiety now brings me to the main topic of this blog post. Recently, I had a dream, one that’s been prominently on my mind for the past few days. I don’t understand what my dream means, or if it has any connection whatsoever with my skin problem, but I feel like there may be something connecting the two topics together. I will describe my dream later on in this post.
The night before I had this specific dream I had a fairly large, bright red pimple forming on my left jaw. I was really freaking out about it before I went to bed, & was practically slathering the entire tube of my prescription acne medication all over my face to try to get it to go away. I was obsessing over this one pimple, constantly examining it in the mirror & lamenting to myself about the hideous size & color of it. I finally gave up on analyzing my acne after fussing over it & went to sleep. The next morning, after experiencing this specific dream, I felt as though a small weight had been lifted from my conscience, & I felt as though my anxiety had lessened by a few degrees. The pimple I had freaked out over the night before had shrunk & gone down in redness. Most of my acne spots had shrunk, & I felt a positive wave wash over me. My first reaction was that it must have been because of the wonderful, yet strangely bizarre dream I had experienced.
And here comes the dream. I don’t always put much thought into the meanings of my dreams, but this one involved my deceased father. The dream starts off with me kneeling on my bed, looking out of my open bedroom window (which is located directly above my bed). I feel a pole gently fall down & hit my shoulder, & I recognize it as being a Spanish matador’s spear used in bull fighting. I pick up the spear & look out my window to see a group of people partially running past my bedroom. I ask one gentleman what is going on, & he informs me that they are participating in a running of the bulls event. I hand him the spear, & he takes it & walks back to his group. At this point in my dream I get the feeling that these people heading past my bedroom window are spirits &/or ghosts, but it doesn’t scare me at all. In fact, I was utterly calm throughout my entire interaction with the mystery man.
Immediately, a telephone rings in the background, & I am not eager to answer it. I am thinking that this may be a sales call from a telemarketer, but something strongly pushes me to answer the telephone. I pick up the phone & say “hello”. The person on the other end sounds like an automated female machine voice. The voice says my mom’s name in a monotone voice, & I run to call my mother over to answer the phone. She then comes over to talk on the phone, & I am asked by an unidentifiable person who my mom is talking to. I don’t even know who’s on the other end of the line, but I can clearly see that my mom is laughing & having a very friendly & lively conversation. I reply without knowing who my mom is talking to, “It’s my dad. It must be my dad.” I turn around to look back at my mother who is still on the phone. I then turn back to the other person, widely grin & say, “Yeah, she’s talking to my dad.” After that I wake up from my dream, & I immediately feel a small sense of calmness.
I don’t know what to make of my dream, especially the part about the running of the bulls & bull fighting, but I’ve been more focused on pinpointing the meaning of the second half of my dream, the part about my dad. I’m very much on the fence about the topic of spirits/ghosts & whether I believe in them or not, so I don’t really know what to say about my dream at this point in time. I have been debating whether or not I’m should tell my mom about this dream. I know she would love to hear anything positive about my dad, even in dream form, but I have a very difficult time talking to others about my dad (even with other family members). I even find it difficult sometimes to think back on my dad when I’m alone because it makes me feel incredibly lonely rather than reminiscing about happy memories.
This dream I had made me very happy. It still does even after a couple of days have passed. Thinking about this dream will always put a smile on my face, but I don’t think I will tell my mom about it just yet. Until then, cheers.
Today’s song of the day:
“Human” by The Killers